By Amanda Hofman, Chief Swag Officer and Branded Merchandise Expert

In the fluorescent glow of a long-forgotten supply closet…
Stacks of stiff hoodies sit untouched, tagged, and totally unloved.

Welcome to the branded merch graveyard.

Inspired by Goodnight Moon, this cautionary merch tale hits a little too close to home for companies still clinging to outdated corporate swag strategies.

In the dull grey office with the flickering light,
Lay a pile of hoodies, folded just right.
Goodnight box, goodnight tags,
Goodnight budget blown on swag.

Goodnight sizes we had to guess,
Goodnight closet of merch regrets.
Goodnight hoodie, stiff and thick,
Goodnight logo no one picked.

Goodnight waste, goodnight chore,
Hello merch they’ll ask you for.

Stop Wasting Money on Corporate Swag That No One Wants

The old model of branded merchandise—buying in bulk, guessing sizes, printing huge logos, and praying people wear it—is over.

If your swag ends up in a drawer (or the donation pile), it’s not doing its job. Your custom promotional products should:

• Reflect your brand’s voice and values
• Be high-quality and wearable in the real world
• Build loyalty, start conversations, and increase visibility

It’s Time to Say Goodnight to the Wrong Swag—and Hello to Smart Merch

Say goodbye to:
❌ Scratchy, stiff hoodies
❌ Giant logos nobody wants to wear
❌ Boxes of leftover sizes
❌ Budget waste and guesswork

Say hello to:
✅ On-demand merch your team and customers actually want
✅ Intentional design that aligns with your current campaigns
✅ Wearable, stylish branded apparel people are excited to rep

Your brand deserves better than the merch graveyard. You can do it. We can help. Sleep tight knowing your branded merch strategy is finally working for your business—not against it. ✨ Ready to wake up your swag game? Let’s chat.

Okay, which classic tale should we remix next? Because every good merch story deserves a happy ending. 😴👕