By Amanda Hofman, Chief Swag Officer and Branded Merchandise Expert

What’s my love language? Getting texts about truly terrible branded merch. And let me tell you—people do not disappoint.

🖊️ Sad piles of cheap conference pens
🥏 Frisbees melting in the summer sun at field day
😂 Hashtag#badmerch snapshots straight from group chats

If you’ve ever walked a trade show or opened a swag bag, you know: Ugly swag is universal.

It clutters tables. Fills landfills. Collects dust in drawers. It doesn’t spark joy—or conversations—or anything resembling brand loyalty.

The Real Problem With Bad Branded Merchandise

Bad swag doesn’t just look bad. It hurts your brand. Here’s why:

• It creates a forgettable brand experience
• It wastes your marketing budget
• It sends the wrong message about your business
• It ends up in the “FREE” pile, or worse—the trash

You work hard to build a brand that stands for something. So why let lazy merch say otherwise?

Great Branded Swag Starts Conversations

Branded merchandise should be:

✅ Strategic
✅ On-brand
✅ Designed for real use
✅ Something people want to keep, wear, or share

The best branded merch turns passive observers into brand advocates. It sparks curiosity, makes a statement, and travels beyond the event table.

Swag That Sticks—In a Good Way

When your merchandise is thoughtful, high-quality, and aligned with your brand voice, it becomes a marketing tool—not just a giveaway.

So before you hit reorder on another stack of stress balls, ask yourself:
👉 Will this piece of swag represent my brand well?
👉 Will someone actually use or wear this?
👉 Is this something I’d be proud to see in the wild?

If not, it’s time for a brand merch upgrade.

Seen Any Cringe-Worthy Swag Lately?

We’re collecting the worst of the worst—and using them as lessons for what not to do. Drop yours below or tag us on social. Let’s all say goodbye to bad merch—and hello to swag that actually works.